All posts by rachelle

Reaching Goals

Stop Fighting Yourself!

Honeychild, your arms really are too short to box with God. But guess what?  They’ll too long to box with yourself.  You’ll just in your own way. So, stop fighting yourself.  Let me explain. I’ve been on a journey to get fit for some time now.  Over time, I managed to lose over forty pounds, build strength and do tasks that had been physically impossible for me for a long time. Then I hit a plateau. I followed all the advice on breaking the plateau.  I increased my activity, decreased my caloric intake, and upped my water intake.  I juggled with different strategies including fitness trackers, organized programs, personal training and nutrition coaching. Still, with the exception of constant sore muscles, I am the same.  I’m still weighing in within the same seven-pound weight range as a year ago, 2o pounds from my goal weight. How could it be? I even had blood work done to determine whether there is a medical condition that is in the way.  SO here I am. I weighed in today and I gained 2 pounds.  Frustrated, I ate chocolate covered Oreos for breakfast and chips and Reese’s for lunch.  Then It hit me… I was eating things because I was mad at not losing the weight even though I was working so hard but honestly, these are some of the same things that I was eating to prevent me losing weight, otherwise they would not have been in my house.  That may seem obvious but it wasn’t.  I only ate these things on occasion. I didn’t keep them in my house on a regular basis, just leftovers from social events and sometimes bringing home bake sale items to put in the freezer.  Well the fact is that chocolate covered Oreos, Reese’s and chips were at hand when I got frustrated and decided to have an emotional binge, yes call it what it is.  I didn’t eat it all at one time but it was a binge nonetheless. You can call it breakfast, lunch and dinner but eating candy, cookies and chips as your only nutrition is still a binge. It was all in my house so this was obviously not the first time I did it.  Not logging also doesn’t negate the fact it was a binge. Dancing around and doing some weightlifting doesn’t necessarily negate the binge. The body is objective- calories in, calories out is what it knows. SO what I am saying?

We sometimes live in a denial that our best is really not our best. We delude ourselves into believing that we’re doing all the right things and then get mad when the result is not as desired, when in reality, we are not living up to the full potential of a goal.  It happens to most of us.  The difference between those that succeed and those that give in is recognizing the icebergs instead of looking past them.  It is not over the horizon. It’s in your face, if you’re paying attention. You can only pay true attention when you’re connected to both your goal and the One who promises to keep you and bless you beyond measure- God!

This is not just about losing weight. It’s about reaching goals, ANY goal. Its’ about changing the plan, not the goal. It’s about not giving in but giving up to God. If your goal is Godly, it’s also connected to God’s promises and you will know this.  It really is that simple and that serious.  You can nothing without God and all things with God but you must pay attention to everything. Actions big and small, all make a difference.

Scripture reference:

Proverbs 16:3 ESV Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established

Psalm 32:8 ESVI will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you

Empowerment link:

DO YOU SABOTAGE YOUR OWN SUCCESS? HERE’S HOW TO STOP SELF-SABOTAGE by Adam Sicinski   http://blog.iqmatrix.com/overcome-self-sabotage

Continue reading Stop Fighting Yourself! →

Reflection

Think on these Things…

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I’m watching the news, checking Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Snapchat. I’m looking up my stocks status, deciding what to do with my Bitcoin and transferring funds from one account to another. I’m ignoring the dating app notifications, the Messenger pings and Telegram rings. All the while, I’m thinking where is the joy. Then that voice within called to me…Think on these things.

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, … good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Phillipians 4:8

I needed that reminder today. No links, no related articles. Just think on these things. Close your eyes, relax, draw closer to God and remember what is good in your life at this moment. You’re Welcome!

Purpose

What will be the legacy?

Hey Honeychild,

We celebrated the Home Going of my Aunt Bea last week. I’ve been thinking about it a lot. Someone was telling the story of how she helped settle Cambodian and Ethiopian families. They did not speak/ understand English nor was she able to communicate in their language. Through her kind spirit and actions she demonstrated that the universal language of love always prevails. I am inspired. It got me to thinking…What will be my legacy? What will people remember about me? What story will sum up the essence of me? Have you ever thought about that?

So, I’m thinking about this and I’m wondering, “does one self-determine” such things or does God place it in you to be discovered, nurtured, and shared? The Bible says that we should not neglect our gifts. It also says that we are to use our gifts in the service of others. Certainly, there are basic character traits inherent within each of us. We have multidimensional character traits, so how do we know which are meant to become a “calling card?” Some are positive and altruistic and others are more base and self-serving. For example, I am nurturing by nature, wanting to make sure that everyone is cared for in the best possible way. I am also practical to the extent that I can appear to callous. How do I balance these traits? On the flip side, I can compartmentalize people, events, and thoughts to my own advantage with no thought of how this impacts others. At the same time, this allows me to be objective and calm in the midst of crisis, which makes me a good leader at such times. Can you how one could be unsure? Are these traits that are meant to be of service or traits that I should be working on correcting? Either way, I believe that we must be intentional in how we steward our gifts. Finding you purpose and walking in it is, after all, a major life assignment.

I’ve concluded that developing a relationship with God is the path to discovering who we are and what legacy of ourselves will be left when we are no longer here. So, Honeychild, as you contemplate my musing today, think also about what you think, desire and know about the legacy of you. Seek God’s wisdom and follow his direction. Do this and you will be sure to leave a story for others carry through the generations!

Scripture Reference:
1Peter 4:10-11
As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.

Empowerment Link:
http://thoughtcatalog.com/casey-e-bean/2017/02/what-will-people-remember-about-you/

Role Model

Live your life as a praise dance

Last week I had the honor of serving on jury duty. I met some interesting people, learned some things about guns and about the law. I saw some disturbing manifestations of society’s ills. In all of that, one thing that really stood out for me was the disconnect between what we say we believe and how we live.
Honeychild, let me tell you about it….
While sitting in the juror room, I met a woman whose name was Peace. She shared that she wasn’t happy to have been selected because she desired to back to work. She talk about how much everyone depended on her, she was the secretary that ran the place, the PhDs didn’t have any smarts and couldn’t survive without her, etc. I asked her a few questions about how she felt about that level of responsibility. She started talking about how they didn’t appreciate her, some called her mean. Some said that she didn’t know how to talk to people but she was just trying to get things done right because she didn’t have time for people. She shared that her supervisor even has to pull her aside from time to time to get to tone down but she didn’t care because she’s been in the same position for over twenty years care She started and seen them all come and go. Peace went on to talk about how much she had to do, praise dance practice and cooking ministry and taking care of the pastor’s pulpit and so on. She was very busy doing God’s work she said. That, she said, is probably why she was having trouble staying awake during testimony. Oh Wow!
Fast forward, we are in deliberation. It is difficult, more difficult than we all thought it would be. Without going into detail about the case, I’ll just say that we had some tension to address. Well, here it goes…Peace is sitting on the outside of the discussion circle, I start hearing rumbling about wanting to go to work tomorrow so we better decide something. Then she gets up, storms to the whiteboard and starts yelling and banging each point on the board. Errr! We are all shocked and confused. Someone tells her she should calm down. Someone else agrees. She gets louder and crass. The outburst is over in a few minutes and we resume.
Voting done, it look like I’m the hold out. I need peace with this decision, to know that we all gave due diligence. I ask each person to give their reasons for concluding the verdict. Most people respond and I say that I need a few minutes to process the information. O.K. I am ready to take another vote. I say what I’ve been thinking and we vote. The foreman announces the verdict. Wait I say. “Did everyone vote? I didn’t see all hands go up? “Peace: “Ya’ll told me to calm down. You didn’t want my opinion before. You don’t need it now.” Errr! We are all shocked and confused again. Come on Peace! Foreman asks, “What do we do now?” I say we send a note to the Judge and ask what to do when a juror refuses to participate. Peace: “I DID NOT REFUSE TO PARTICIPATE. I WAITED FOR YOU TO MAKE A DECISION. NOW YOU CAN WAIT.” I see, Peace is not so peaceful. We’re being held hostage. We read, tell a few jokes, small talk and then PEACE startles us one last time, “GUILTY.” Yes, Peace, guilty and so are you.
Honeychild, there are many things that can be taken out of this experience. What I want to share today is that your good works for the Lord, your commitment to your job, your praise dance on Sunday morning all mean nothing if the people around you can’t be witness to your faith without you saying so. Live your life as a praise dance so that all can SEE your grace, joy and peace.

Scripture Reference: Corinthians 16:14 Let everything you do be done in love (true love God and man as inspires by God’s love for us).
Ephesians 4:2 (NIV “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the
bond of peace.”
Ephesians 5: 1-2 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. 2 And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God

Empowerment Link: http://christianity.about.com/od/practicaltools/a/shareyourfaith.htm

Purpose

Hearing from God

Honeychild, let me tell you this…

I hear from people all the time, “I want my will to be God’s will. I want to hear Him but how do I hear from God?” Well, we know that the Word of God is a steady and everlasting guide. We know that God speaks to us through others such as clergy and prophets. We know that prayer and meditation create an open path to receive instruction. But, what happens when you read the Holy word, when you listen to sermons and talks, when you lay at your alter in praise and supplication and still don’t feel that you are getting the word that God wants you to hear? Maybe it’s your perspective on what hearing from God can mean. Yes, it can mean a specific verse from the Bible. Yes, it can mean a direct word from your minister. And yes, it can mean a divine insight while praying. What may be missing from the lenses in which you view hearing from God is the perspective that God is always around, always speaking to you, always instructing, correcting and inspiring you. It is in the way you view your world.

God is speaking to you when you wake up each morning, saying I love you and I’m granting you another chance at life today. God is speaking to you when you turn on the news and hear about some issue that pulls at your heart, saying this is important- do something. God is speaking to you when you can’t get that idea out of your mind, saying you take one step and I’ll take two. God is speaking to you when feel bad about that judgment you just made after realizing that you’ve done worst, saying compassion and empathy are your pathway to growth. In all of these ways and many more that we take as simple everyday occurrences, there is God speaking to us. It is a conversation. When you “hear” these things, speak back; respond. It will become a lively and productive conversation between you and God.

So, Honeychild, don’t fret when it seems that God is not speaking to you. Open your eyes to glorious ways that He is with you all the time and yes, speaking to you. Once you trust yourself to hear these personal whispers you will have a no problem hearing discerning Him in the crowd.

Biblical Reference:
John 10:27, “My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.”

Empowerment Link:
http://www.crosswalk.com/faith/spiritual-life/how-to-hear-from-god-regularly.html

Compassion

The Humanity of Infidelity

Honeychild, Honeychild…

The 2016 presidential cycle was something like we’ve never seen before. There are so many starting points that I can hardly pick one. Almost 3 years later, we are still struck by unprecedented rhetoric. However, today I am led to the debate around Hillary’s response to her Bill’s indiscretions. Her opponent is bent on deriding her for her angry attacks on these women. Well there are some problems with this strategy and though process. Sure it puts the candidate in a bad light that makes it look like she is not for women, but it is a position that forgets several things.
1) Most human women do have a vile reaction to being cheated on.
2) Often, this reaction is misdirected towards the other woman.
3) At times, the other woman can be blamed for her part, particularly when she knowingly disrespects the marriage institution.
4) The vow to remain in a marriage for better or worse is a personal decision that outsiders have no business judging.
5) Faith and personal relationship with God is the guiding factor in many situations.
When taken into consideration, these factors lead one to conclude that:
A) One must first look inward before casting stones from one’s glass home.
B) The stages of surviving infidelity are similar to those of working through grief- no one takes this journey the same way or at the same pace.
C) The test of character is often seen in the midst of turmoil rather than the shade of serenity.
The Bible is clear about many things but thing for sure… Love is an action word from which forgiveness, fortitude and faithfulness derive. As we move forward in this conversation, let’s remember the humanity of relationships and the core of love.

Empowerment Link: Continue reading The Humanity of Infidelity →

Compassion, Reaching Goals, Role Model

Soothe Me, Move Me, Lift Me Up!

Hey Honeychild! Do you remember the last time you heard a song that lifted you out of your fog. You know: that dance tune that brings back fond memories of way back, the slow ballad that reminds you of your sexy self, the old time gospel that growls God is on your side, the contemporary inspirational that confirms the best is yet to come, the jazz number that soothes your soul. You know which one I’m talking about. It lifts you up, it makes you smile, it gets you moving…
Well, whatever your pleasure, whatever your song, remember this- these songs are a gift. They are a light to your pathway to let you know that your story is not over. Music is one of the ways that life gives life. Am I going over the top here? NO. I’m more than a cheerleader for rhythm and rhyme. Music is known for its healing properties. Sometimes, when we are losing focus and we’re headed to the pity party, all we really need is its quick pick me up. Music is brain changing as it releases the chemical dopamine- the same pleasure-related response that you get from drugs, sex and foods like chocolate; all of which can get you in trouble if used to self- medicate. Heck, those may be related to some of the reasons you were in that funk anyway. But Ahhh, the right music will get you to think outside of yourself, remember your possibilities and spark new thoughts.

Well. I got you covered Honeychild. “Today’s a new day.” “A-B-C…easy as 1-2-3.” “It’s a wonderful world.” “Happy.” “Walking on Sunshine” “The Greatest love of all.” “If what I am is what’s in me…” “Somewhere over the rainbow.” …So perhaps not the hippest playlist but you get my point.

Put on that vinyl, CD, iPod, whatever thingies turn you on and get it going.

Scripture Reference: Colossians 3:16Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.

Empowerment Link: Some songs to get you started-
www.thehealthy.com/the-20-most-inspirational-songs-of-all-time

Purpose, Reaching Goals, Role Model

Celebrating Single

Honeychild, dear Honeychild,

This is the time of year for parties, gifts, cheer and sharing. But for many, it is the time of year for grief and loneliness. Some people are happy and eager to post to Facebook, hashtag on twitter, pose for Instagram and Snapchat. Others are dreading the holiday season in favor of thoughts of lost, despair and conflict. Whether you are in one of those categories or somewhere in between or know someone who is experiencing sadness during the holidays; be encouraged. You are not alone. You can help yourself or someone you care about to get through the season with peace and joy.Here are three thoughts to help you.

First, remember the reason for the season? Consider that it can mean different things to different people. For Christians, Jews, Buddhists and some years Muslims, there is a universal call to show love. Christians are celebrating Christmas, the birth of Christ. Jews are celebrating Chanukkah, the festival of lights commemorating the rededication of the Temple in Jerusalem. Buddhists are celebrating Bodhi Day, the day Buddha received enlightenment. On years that is coincides with December on the Gregorian calendar, Muslims are honoring the Feast of Sacrifice; Id Al Adha. Stills others are simply celebrating the Winter Solstice. At any rate, although the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas has become a season of cheer and merriment, keeping the holiday in context can help you take it in stride and understand that it is ok not participate in every gathering if you don’t feel like doing so.

On the other hand, it is also ok to join in the celebrations as a single. That brings me to thought number two. You can go celebrations alone or with another single friend. People are not, as one might think, singling you out. The Bible says that if you want friends you have to first be friendly. So go to the party and enjoy yourself. There are also many things happening during the holiday that are great enjoyed alone. It may seem awkward the first time you go out alone, but trust me, it can freeing and fun. Go the theater, the movies, skating at the rink. Take in the holiday show or a city tour of the lights around the city. You’ll find the joy of the season will make you smile whether you with others or by yourself.

Having trouble with thoughts of lost loved ones? Thought number three: Don’t try to forget about them during the season. Instead, embrace their memories; celebrate them. You can give a donation to charity in the name of your loved one. Light a candle in their memory. Write a poem or letter of remembrance. Say a prayer of thanksgiving for the time you had with your loved one. This is good even when you are grieving lost due to a break up rather than death.

You see, Honeychild… changing how you think about the holidays and what you do in response can help you see this season as an opportunity to practice the love within. And you take that right into the new year!

Scripture Reference:
Romans 12:12 ESV Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.
Empowerment link:
For Mourners: http://www.pbs.org/thisemotionallife/blogs/getting-through-holidays-advice-bereaved
For Singles: http://www.womansday.com/relationships/dating-marriage/advice/a6771/holidays-alone/

Purpose, Reaching Goals

Be Extra!

I was watching the Steve Harvey Show today. He did a segment on the Disney Dreamers Academy. During one of the sessions he talked about the difference between ordinary and extraordinary people. Sounds corny but the answer is EXTRA! I know! But as I thought about it I was reminded of what I had been thinking a lot about lately, my own failure to fly at times. Don’t get me wrong Honeychild, I have done well. I enjoy a measure of success and I have contributed to the welfare of my community. However, I am thinking of the possible magnanimous impact I could have if I flew a little higher and spread my wings a little wider.

Everyone tells you that you have to have a dream, you have to write it down, and you have to work on it. All of that is true. I’ve done all of that but remained at the precipice of accomplishing my goals. I had to come to grips with the fact that I just don’t always do the extra, not really. I do a great job of appearing to go above and beyond but that’s because most people are generous and don’t realize that they have a pretty low bar. Only a few people in my life have pushed me and expected more. More importantly, only a few times in my life have I pushed me and expected more. You do better…well you gotta do better.
We each have potential to do great things, most of us won’t. I once heard a preacher talk about the potential that one find in the graveyards of the world… scientists, inventors, mothers, fathers, presidents, the list goes on. It’s all about the extra. Make the extra phone call. Do the extra set of planks. Study the extra hour. Create the extra prototype. Join me- Be extra!! Let’s see where it takes us.

Scripture references are found in this empowerment link
http://whowudathunk.wordpress.com/tag/steve-harvey/

Compassion, Role Model

Be Concerned But Not Consumed

Honeychild,

Do you remember your mama or nana or pastor telling you to pray or worry but not both. I do. My mom used to say “ Well, I prayed so I won’t worry.” My pastor said that if you worry you are taking God’s ability to work on your behalf. It’s true you know.

There are many instances in my life to prove it but let me tell you about this time it really compelled me to take heed. I was stressing out about my job because of the many changes that were happening in our district. I had no idea whether I would even have a job by the end of the year and many of my colleagues were experiencing the same stressors. People were job hunting and backstabbing and creating all kinds of chaos in the name of setting up for the possible loss of position. I began wondering if I was being naive in not participating in the madness. Second guessing what I should do became another stress factor in my life. I listened to some of the grapevine gossip, making me a participant of it. I applied for positions that I didn’t want. I thought about what might happen when I should have been sleeping. I showed indifference to my performance. I prayed about I don’t even know what. I felt the stress of uncertainty daily. The list goes on. Maybe you’ve been there. Consumed and ineffectual. It was not a good look on me.

Then one day, in my meditation, it came to me to think about what I’d done in the past when confronted with the same situation. It was then that I realized I’d never had an insurmountable situation on my job. I had lost a couple of jobs in my life but never suffered beyond repair. I’d been uncomfortable on a couple of jobs, again, nothing beyond repair. The Holy Spirit was speaking to me… I will take care of you. I will not give you more than you can bear. Ahaa! I understood!

My life is God protected. There are situations that I will go through, but only to teach and grow me. There are some things that I’m just not cut out to handle and God knows it because he knitted in my mother’s womb.

There are different protected areas in each of our lives and there is nothing put on your shoulders that you can’t handle. This does not mean that you shouldn’t be concerned about the events of life. You should. Your life is your personal responsibility. However, do not be consumed by these affairs. Pray for guidance, strength, wisdom and grace. Your confidence in God’s care will be rewarded.

Scripture Reference: Hebrews 10:35-36 Do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.

Empowerment Link: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/why-we-worry/201206/10-tips-manage-your-worrying ( slightly different perspective but some helpful tips)