Category Archives: Compassion

Compassion

The Humanity of Infidelity

Honeychild, Honeychild…

The 2016 presidential cycle was something like we’ve never seen before. There are so many starting points that I can hardly pick one. Almost 3 years later, we are still struck by unprecedented rhetoric. However, today I am led to the debate around Hillary’s response to her Bill’s indiscretions. Her opponent is bent on deriding her for her angry attacks on these women. Well there are some problems with this strategy and though process. Sure it puts the candidate in a bad light that makes it look like she is not for women, but it is a position that forgets several things.
1) Most human women do have a vile reaction to being cheated on.
2) Often, this reaction is misdirected towards the other woman.
3) At times, the other woman can be blamed for her part, particularly when she knowingly disrespects the marriage institution.
4) The vow to remain in a marriage for better or worse is a personal decision that outsiders have no business judging.
5) Faith and personal relationship with God is the guiding factor in many situations.
When taken into consideration, these factors lead one to conclude that:
A) One must first look inward before casting stones from one’s glass home.
B) The stages of surviving infidelity are similar to those of working through grief- no one takes this journey the same way or at the same pace.
C) The test of character is often seen in the midst of turmoil rather than the shade of serenity.
The Bible is clear about many things but thing for sure… Love is an action word from which forgiveness, fortitude and faithfulness derive. As we move forward in this conversation, let’s remember the humanity of relationships and the core of love.

Empowerment Link: Continue reading The Humanity of Infidelity →

Compassion, Reaching Goals, Role Model

Soothe Me, Move Me, Lift Me Up!

Hey Honeychild! Do you remember the last time you heard a song that lifted you out of your fog. You know: that dance tune that brings back fond memories of way back, the slow ballad that reminds you of your sexy self, the old time gospel that growls God is on your side, the contemporary inspirational that confirms the best is yet to come, the jazz number that soothes your soul. You know which one I’m talking about. It lifts you up, it makes you smile, it gets you moving…
Well, whatever your pleasure, whatever your song, remember this- these songs are a gift. They are a light to your pathway to let you know that your story is not over. Music is one of the ways that life gives life. Am I going over the top here? NO. I’m more than a cheerleader for rhythm and rhyme. Music is known for its healing properties. Sometimes, when we are losing focus and we’re headed to the pity party, all we really need is its quick pick me up. Music is brain changing as it releases the chemical dopamine- the same pleasure-related response that you get from drugs, sex and foods like chocolate; all of which can get you in trouble if used to self- medicate. Heck, those may be related to some of the reasons you were in that funk anyway. But Ahhh, the right music will get you to think outside of yourself, remember your possibilities and spark new thoughts.

Well. I got you covered Honeychild. “Today’s a new day.” “A-B-C…easy as 1-2-3.” “It’s a wonderful world.” “Happy.” “Walking on Sunshine” “The Greatest love of all.” “If what I am is what’s in me…” “Somewhere over the rainbow.” …So perhaps not the hippest playlist but you get my point.

Put on that vinyl, CD, iPod, whatever thingies turn you on and get it going.

Scripture Reference: Colossians 3:16Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.

Empowerment Link: Some songs to get you started-
www.thehealthy.com/the-20-most-inspirational-songs-of-all-time

Compassion, Role Model

Be Concerned But Not Consumed

Honeychild,

Do you remember your mama or nana or pastor telling you to pray or worry but not both. I do. My mom used to say “ Well, I prayed so I won’t worry.” My pastor said that if you worry you are taking God’s ability to work on your behalf. It’s true you know.

There are many instances in my life to prove it but let me tell you about this time it really compelled me to take heed. I was stressing out about my job because of the many changes that were happening in our district. I had no idea whether I would even have a job by the end of the year and many of my colleagues were experiencing the same stressors. People were job hunting and backstabbing and creating all kinds of chaos in the name of setting up for the possible loss of position. I began wondering if I was being naive in not participating in the madness. Second guessing what I should do became another stress factor in my life. I listened to some of the grapevine gossip, making me a participant of it. I applied for positions that I didn’t want. I thought about what might happen when I should have been sleeping. I showed indifference to my performance. I prayed about I don’t even know what. I felt the stress of uncertainty daily. The list goes on. Maybe you’ve been there. Consumed and ineffectual. It was not a good look on me.

Then one day, in my meditation, it came to me to think about what I’d done in the past when confronted with the same situation. It was then that I realized I’d never had an insurmountable situation on my job. I had lost a couple of jobs in my life but never suffered beyond repair. I’d been uncomfortable on a couple of jobs, again, nothing beyond repair. The Holy Spirit was speaking to me… I will take care of you. I will not give you more than you can bear. Ahaa! I understood!

My life is God protected. There are situations that I will go through, but only to teach and grow me. There are some things that I’m just not cut out to handle and God knows it because he knitted in my mother’s womb.

There are different protected areas in each of our lives and there is nothing put on your shoulders that you can’t handle. This does not mean that you shouldn’t be concerned about the events of life. You should. Your life is your personal responsibility. However, do not be consumed by these affairs. Pray for guidance, strength, wisdom and grace. Your confidence in God’s care will be rewarded.

Scripture Reference: Hebrews 10:35-36 Do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.

Empowerment Link: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/why-we-worry/201206/10-tips-manage-your-worrying ( slightly different perspective but some helpful tips)