Category Archives: Role Model

Role Model

Live your life as a praise dance

Last week I had the honor of serving on jury duty. I met some interesting people, learned some things about guns and about the law. I saw some disturbing manifestations of society’s ills. In all of that, one thing that really stood out for me was the disconnect between what we say we believe and how we live.
Honeychild, let me tell you about it….
While sitting in the juror room, I met a woman whose name was Peace. She shared that she wasn’t happy to have been selected because she desired to back to work. She talk about how much everyone depended on her, she was the secretary that ran the place, the PhDs didn’t have any smarts and couldn’t survive without her, etc. I asked her a few questions about how she felt about that level of responsibility. She started talking about how they didn’t appreciate her, some called her mean. Some said that she didn’t know how to talk to people but she was just trying to get things done right because she didn’t have time for people. She shared that her supervisor even has to pull her aside from time to time to get to tone down but she didn’t care because she’s been in the same position for over twenty years care She started and seen them all come and go. Peace went on to talk about how much she had to do, praise dance practice and cooking ministry and taking care of the pastor’s pulpit and so on. She was very busy doing God’s work she said. That, she said, is probably why she was having trouble staying awake during testimony. Oh Wow!
Fast forward, we are in deliberation. It is difficult, more difficult than we all thought it would be. Without going into detail about the case, I’ll just say that we had some tension to address. Well, here it goes…Peace is sitting on the outside of the discussion circle, I start hearing rumbling about wanting to go to work tomorrow so we better decide something. Then she gets up, storms to the whiteboard and starts yelling and banging each point on the board. Errr! We are all shocked and confused. Someone tells her she should calm down. Someone else agrees. She gets louder and crass. The outburst is over in a few minutes and we resume.
Voting done, it look like I’m the hold out. I need peace with this decision, to know that we all gave due diligence. I ask each person to give their reasons for concluding the verdict. Most people respond and I say that I need a few minutes to process the information. O.K. I am ready to take another vote. I say what I’ve been thinking and we vote. The foreman announces the verdict. Wait I say. “Did everyone vote? I didn’t see all hands go up? “Peace: “Ya’ll told me to calm down. You didn’t want my opinion before. You don’t need it now.” Errr! We are all shocked and confused again. Come on Peace! Foreman asks, “What do we do now?” I say we send a note to the Judge and ask what to do when a juror refuses to participate. Peace: “I DID NOT REFUSE TO PARTICIPATE. I WAITED FOR YOU TO MAKE A DECISION. NOW YOU CAN WAIT.” I see, Peace is not so peaceful. We’re being held hostage. We read, tell a few jokes, small talk and then PEACE startles us one last time, “GUILTY.” Yes, Peace, guilty and so are you.
Honeychild, there are many things that can be taken out of this experience. What I want to share today is that your good works for the Lord, your commitment to your job, your praise dance on Sunday morning all mean nothing if the people around you can’t be witness to your faith without you saying so. Live your life as a praise dance so that all can SEE your grace, joy and peace.

Scripture Reference: Corinthians 16:14 Let everything you do be done in love (true love God and man as inspires by God’s love for us).
Ephesians 4:2 (NIV “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the
bond of peace.”
Ephesians 5: 1-2 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. 2 And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God

Empowerment Link: http://christianity.about.com/od/practicaltools/a/shareyourfaith.htm

Compassion, Reaching Goals, Role Model

Soothe Me, Move Me, Lift Me Up!

Hey Honeychild! Do you remember the last time you heard a song that lifted you out of your fog. You know: that dance tune that brings back fond memories of way back, the slow ballad that reminds you of your sexy self, the old time gospel that growls God is on your side, the contemporary inspirational that confirms the best is yet to come, the jazz number that soothes your soul. You know which one I’m talking about. It lifts you up, it makes you smile, it gets you moving…
Well, whatever your pleasure, whatever your song, remember this- these songs are a gift. They are a light to your pathway to let you know that your story is not over. Music is one of the ways that life gives life. Am I going over the top here? NO. I’m more than a cheerleader for rhythm and rhyme. Music is known for its healing properties. Sometimes, when we are losing focus and we’re headed to the pity party, all we really need is its quick pick me up. Music is brain changing as it releases the chemical dopamine- the same pleasure-related response that you get from drugs, sex and foods like chocolate; all of which can get you in trouble if used to self- medicate. Heck, those may be related to some of the reasons you were in that funk anyway. But Ahhh, the right music will get you to think outside of yourself, remember your possibilities and spark new thoughts.

Well. I got you covered Honeychild. “Today’s a new day.” “A-B-C…easy as 1-2-3.” “It’s a wonderful world.” “Happy.” “Walking on Sunshine” “The Greatest love of all.” “If what I am is what’s in me…” “Somewhere over the rainbow.” …So perhaps not the hippest playlist but you get my point.

Put on that vinyl, CD, iPod, whatever thingies turn you on and get it going.

Scripture Reference: Colossians 3:16Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.

Empowerment Link: Some songs to get you started-
www.thehealthy.com/the-20-most-inspirational-songs-of-all-time

Purpose, Reaching Goals, Role Model

Celebrating Single

Honeychild, dear Honeychild,

This is the time of year for parties, gifts, cheer and sharing. But for many, it is the time of year for grief and loneliness. Some people are happy and eager to post to Facebook, hashtag on twitter, pose for Instagram and Snapchat. Others are dreading the holiday season in favor of thoughts of lost, despair and conflict. Whether you are in one of those categories or somewhere in between or know someone who is experiencing sadness during the holidays; be encouraged. You are not alone. You can help yourself or someone you care about to get through the season with peace and joy.Here are three thoughts to help you.

First, remember the reason for the season? Consider that it can mean different things to different people. For Christians, Jews, Buddhists and some years Muslims, there is a universal call to show love. Christians are celebrating Christmas, the birth of Christ. Jews are celebrating Chanukkah, the festival of lights commemorating the rededication of the Temple in Jerusalem. Buddhists are celebrating Bodhi Day, the day Buddha received enlightenment. On years that is coincides with December on the Gregorian calendar, Muslims are honoring the Feast of Sacrifice; Id Al Adha. Stills others are simply celebrating the Winter Solstice. At any rate, although the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas has become a season of cheer and merriment, keeping the holiday in context can help you take it in stride and understand that it is ok not participate in every gathering if you don’t feel like doing so.

On the other hand, it is also ok to join in the celebrations as a single. That brings me to thought number two. You can go celebrations alone or with another single friend. People are not, as one might think, singling you out. The Bible says that if you want friends you have to first be friendly. So go to the party and enjoy yourself. There are also many things happening during the holiday that are great enjoyed alone. It may seem awkward the first time you go out alone, but trust me, it can freeing and fun. Go the theater, the movies, skating at the rink. Take in the holiday show or a city tour of the lights around the city. You’ll find the joy of the season will make you smile whether you with others or by yourself.

Having trouble with thoughts of lost loved ones? Thought number three: Don’t try to forget about them during the season. Instead, embrace their memories; celebrate them. You can give a donation to charity in the name of your loved one. Light a candle in their memory. Write a poem or letter of remembrance. Say a prayer of thanksgiving for the time you had with your loved one. This is good even when you are grieving lost due to a break up rather than death.

You see, Honeychild… changing how you think about the holidays and what you do in response can help you see this season as an opportunity to practice the love within. And you take that right into the new year!

Scripture Reference:
Romans 12:12 ESV Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.
Empowerment link:
For Mourners: http://www.pbs.org/thisemotionallife/blogs/getting-through-holidays-advice-bereaved
For Singles: http://www.womansday.com/relationships/dating-marriage/advice/a6771/holidays-alone/

Compassion, Role Model

Be Concerned But Not Consumed

Honeychild,

Do you remember your mama or nana or pastor telling you to pray or worry but not both. I do. My mom used to say “ Well, I prayed so I won’t worry.” My pastor said that if you worry you are taking God’s ability to work on your behalf. It’s true you know.

There are many instances in my life to prove it but let me tell you about this time it really compelled me to take heed. I was stressing out about my job because of the many changes that were happening in our district. I had no idea whether I would even have a job by the end of the year and many of my colleagues were experiencing the same stressors. People were job hunting and backstabbing and creating all kinds of chaos in the name of setting up for the possible loss of position. I began wondering if I was being naive in not participating in the madness. Second guessing what I should do became another stress factor in my life. I listened to some of the grapevine gossip, making me a participant of it. I applied for positions that I didn’t want. I thought about what might happen when I should have been sleeping. I showed indifference to my performance. I prayed about I don’t even know what. I felt the stress of uncertainty daily. The list goes on. Maybe you’ve been there. Consumed and ineffectual. It was not a good look on me.

Then one day, in my meditation, it came to me to think about what I’d done in the past when confronted with the same situation. It was then that I realized I’d never had an insurmountable situation on my job. I had lost a couple of jobs in my life but never suffered beyond repair. I’d been uncomfortable on a couple of jobs, again, nothing beyond repair. The Holy Spirit was speaking to me… I will take care of you. I will not give you more than you can bear. Ahaa! I understood!

My life is God protected. There are situations that I will go through, but only to teach and grow me. There are some things that I’m just not cut out to handle and God knows it because he knitted in my mother’s womb.

There are different protected areas in each of our lives and there is nothing put on your shoulders that you can’t handle. This does not mean that you shouldn’t be concerned about the events of life. You should. Your life is your personal responsibility. However, do not be consumed by these affairs. Pray for guidance, strength, wisdom and grace. Your confidence in God’s care will be rewarded.

Scripture Reference: Hebrews 10:35-36 Do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.

Empowerment Link: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/why-we-worry/201206/10-tips-manage-your-worrying ( slightly different perspective but some helpful tips)

Purpose, Reaching Goals, Role Model

The Big Bad Boat

Honeychild, let me tell you…

Sometimes you don’t know you really want to do something until the opportunity presents itself. I just spent 5 days on a sailboat. It was a simple, pure, and absolutely amazing experience. You could not have told me that I would be climbing in and out of this boat and loving it. But that is not how it began.
It began when I tried to book my annual trip to the Vineyard. I had waited too long and everything was sold out for the date that I wanted. I then tried to book another date and it didn’t work either. Now I was on a mission. It occurred to me that maybe not everyone on the boats owned them. I googled bed and breakfast on a boat and voila! I found a sailboat for my stay. Thinking outside the box paid off. Mind you I had no idea what it entailed.
Fast forward, I’m excited about this trip and staying on a ship. Well, I get there, ready to walk the plank onto the boat, bad enough, but wait! I was stunned as the captain explained to me how to get on the boat. I had to climb over the dock edge, down a flat ladder, cross over to the edge of the boat and climb in. I stood there looking at the space between me, the water and the boat. No, I don’t swim and I booked a vacation on a sailboat. I was weighing my options: could I get a reservation some place on the island, could I change my train ticket and go back home, sleep on the dock, anything but get on that boat? Well, I sucked it up, grabbed God and slowly and very awkwardly made it into the boat, declaring that I was not getting off again until it was time to go home in five days.
Let me tell you, not only did I get on and off that boat each day but I lived in close quarters with my 3 mates and some very basic supplies. It turned out to be one of the best trips ever. I even got on a dingy and rode out to a charter boat in the outer harbor, made a slightly less challenging climb onto that yacht and got to see fireworks from the sea view. Honeychild, let me tell you what I learned…
If you get outside of the box, trust the process, and embrace challenges you will be rewarded with experiences beyond all that you can imagine.

Scripture Reference: Philippians 4:13New King James Version (NKJV)
13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Empowerment Link: http://christinagreve.com/daring-to-dare-why-you-should-step-out-of-your-comfort-zone
http://www.boxingscene.com/motivation/25341.php Challenge your self